分类目录归档:心情隽语

Feeling About Parents’ Love

Last weekend, I attended a Spring Bible Camp organized by UBF, which held a Bible conference in Chiak San. Although I don’t totally believe in Bible, I do respect this region because of these kind members in UBF. It was a good chance for me to experience a series of new things.

The topic of conference is to show Father’s heart. The word Father doesn’t refer to our logical father, but so-called heavenly Father — God. During the conference, a lot of members shared their own experiences which showed the love of heaven Father as well as their own fathers. There were also two videos named “Father and Son” and “Father and Daughter” played on the conference. The language was Korean which I could not understand, but the love showed from the videos was what I could deeply feel and understand. I heard a girl was crying while doing her pray after watching the video. It was so touching that drove me to feel a kind of sad.

I began to think about my parents. During the days I was in China, I lived with my parents and have never been away from them for such a long time. But the long distance doesn’t consequently farther our relation between my parents and I. On the contrary, I can feel it much stronger than ever before. It is weird that human beings could not realize how cherish this relationship is until they are likely to lose it. Once I could not tell exactly where the love is because I could not hold it physically in hand. But now I realize I am wrong. My clothes, my study fees, my living expenses as well as something inphysically are all from my parents’ love. Love is everywhere around me, and it is so happy for me to live in such a warm family. Love, is something cannot say in word but can feel by heart.

结束了,一个失望的学期

终于,大二的第一个学期在昨天数据结构的考试后结束了,一个失望的学期。当一门门课程成绩出来的时候,开始明白这个学期对我来说意味着什么。不是灾难,因为很多成绩真的是平时的反照,虽然不情愿,但是无可辩驳。

不知从什么时候开始,习惯了考分不好怪老师给分低,习惯了把责任推脱给别人,从来不去正视自己的问题。再怎么抱怨也没有用,要怪只能怪自己。总是不肯承认与别人的差距,其实是内心深处害怕承认而已,害怕一旦承认,自己的自尊心受到挫伤,是人性的弱点,更是我的怯懦。如今试着学会做一个勇夫,看清真正的自己,差距明白无误地横沟在我和好的同学之间,而且有越来越大的趋势。

抛弃昨日的浮华,回归本性的自我,好好冷静一下,反思一下,就在这个寒冷的冬天。

随便说说

昨天晚上一股莫名的忧伤涌上心头,说不清楚为什么,只是很迷茫。天天不知道在做什么,虽然有一大段代码要写,却也懒得动笔。记得小的时候曾经为了一个纸模型船而在深更半夜偷偷起来制作,现在的我真的没有当初这种冲劲了。十年前的我相信一切老师家长口中的大道理,一切都追求尽善尽美,因此错失了很多,在十年后的今天追悔莫及。现在想想,只怪当初不”懂事”,太痴狂。十年前以为有了知识就可以创造一片属于自己的天空,十年后明白了在社会上懂得混的人日子过得永远比你好,于是选择了现在的自己,在一群自称日子过得很潇洒的人中小心地生存,美其名曰”颓废也是一种美”。记得几天前我和班长去团委找老师,那个老师挺年轻,大不了我们几岁,但态度却很恶劣。回来时我对班长说”他也是从学生时代走过来的,为什么不能体谅我们学生的心情呢”,班长回答我说”如果十年后你还能说出同样的话那就好了”。是啊,十年后的我也许又会嘲笑现在的自己,不懂得什么才叫作生活,却选择那么一点点迂腐,以致又错过了许多许多。

人在不断的长大过程中总是被这个世界不断地抹去自己的棱角,而渐渐地变得和这个世界全同,不知道这是一种悲哀还是幸运,总之我觉得很伤心。曾经听过一句话,叫做”有思想的人总是寂寞的”,出自我的室友之口,听了让我很不是滋味。以前思想丰富的时候并不觉得寂寞,而现在回想起来却发现以前是那么的寂寞,也许潜意识中也是这么认为的,所以才会慢慢地改变,去适应周围的环境。终于发现自己是一个很怕孤独的人。